Go No Contact: Move if possible and limit communication where you can.
Involve Family: If you have children, work with family to help
communicate, providing a buffer.
Do Not Take Them Back: No matter how charming or convincing
they may seem, do not return to the relationship. It is a relentless cycle of insanity that will not change—it will only get worse.
Change Passwords: Update passwords on all accounts to
something they would never guess.
Change Internet Providers: If possible, switch providers. If not,
change your equipment to obtain a different IP address.
Update Bank Information: Change bank passwords and account details, and consider opening new accounts with different numbers if necessary.
Contact Utilities: Ensure all utility accounts are in your name only and set a backup password that your ex cannot figure out:
Change Locks: Secure your home by changing the locks.
Hold Mail: Go to the post office and request that your mail be held. Inform the clerks of your situation.
Contact the Mortgage/Insurance Holder or Landlord: Inform them of your situation.
Notify Local Authorities: Let them know you have a former resident in your home that you fear.
Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline
If you or someone you know is in need of support, the National Domestic Abuse Hotline is here to help. You can reach them at 1-800-799-7233 or visit their website at www.thehotline.org .
Request a Restraining Order: Visit the court to file for protection.
Freeze Your Credit: Freeze your credit report with all major credit agencies. Consider joining a credit monitoring service for ongoing protection
Maintain No Contact: This is the only way to find peace.
Seek Legal Help for Children: If you have children, reach out to an attorney, friend, family member, or government agency for support regarding visitation and contacts
Avoid Conversations: Stay clear of any discussions with your ex—they do not have your best interests at heart.
Inform Daycare Facilities and Schools: Ensure that any daycare providers know not to release your children or pets to your ex until everything is settled.
· Hunger for Power and Dominance
· Attracted toward people, themes, and activities implying power. Materialism, fame, prestige.
· Devious or Deceptive Tendencies
Willingness to lie or leave out important facts
Intolerant of others not adoring them or doing their bidding
· Ruthless in the Pursuit of Their Goals
Stealing affirmation, self-enamored
· Hostile or Aggressive Toward Others
An attitude of entitlement
· Easily Angered or Irritated
Responds to confrontation with irrational anger
· Irresponsible Decision Making
The ability to think introspectively is virtually non-existent. More emphasis on looking right than being right.
· Superficial Charm and Powers of Persuasion
Opening doors, pulling out chairs, things that
take your breath away, make you feel special,
heard, cared about.
· Broken Moral Compass or Limited Conscience and no appreciation for boundaries.
· Few Close Bonds or Relationships (emphasis on “few”)
· Manipulative Tendencies-even the use of veiled threats and comments to remind you of your obligations to them
· Entitlement and Impunity
· Socially Deviant
· Idealized fantasies are routinely pursued to include porn and sexually explicit activities.
· Cheap Thrill-Seeking Tendencies
· Opportunistic in all the Wrong Ways
· Emotional Detachment
· Public and Private do not match
· Lots of advice that is unsolicited
· Extremes in managing money- they are looking for power or pleasure.
· The ability to think introspectively is virtually non-existent. More emphasis on looking right than being right.
Sadistic behavior and enjoying harming others
More prone to violence
Strategic decision making
Callousness and emotional detachment
No close bonds or relationships
Lack of conscience or remorse for actions
Inability to empathize with others
Willingness to harm/use others for personal gain
More prone to exploitation
Reckless or impulsive decision-making
Emotionally reactive and easily angered
Few close bonds and relationships
Limited conscience or remorse for actions
Limited ability to empathize with others
The way they act at home is different than the way they act when they are out in public. Sometimes, it is very different.
Superficial loyalty, if even that.
They will never admit mistakes- they blame and make excuses.
Love to give advice whether you ask for it or not.
Cannot think introspectively. Feels like they live in an alternate reality
They do not let you forget that you have a duty to them.
You either agree with them, or they will look down on you. They are superior.
They are attracted to things like prestige, fame, materialism, and desires that are sensual or sexually explicit. They want to be adored and associated with people of status. They are self-enamored and self-absorbed.
Strong desire to be dominant during conversations and interactions. Applauding people who have bullied, been aggressive, or insensitive.
They prefer to have a relationship that is not emotionally connected. They are out of their element when it comes to empathy or sympathy.
They will tell you a portion of the story. They lie, keep secrets, and distort events to work in their favor. The truth is most often their truth.
Money management.
Taking praise or good fortune from others to ensure they maintain the spotlight. They love to be adored and feel superior.
No appreciation for boundaries-they will shame, ridicule, boss, and coerce you to get you to do it their way rather than within your personal boundaries.
They do not know how to love. They like the high of a new relationship, the fantasy of being adored to feed their fantasies.
Superior- standards that apply to others, in their mind, do not apply to them. They are smarter and better than you and others.
Intolerant when others do not do their bidding.
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